Thawing the Ice Queen

“As she came down the stairs, each one froze in turn.”

When I feel a woman walk into a space “feeling icy”, I feel extremely extremely wary. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Icy is an expression. It’s an energetic choice.

Strong women sometimes include “icyness” as one of their strengths. They develop a hardness, a crispness, to their reactions. A coldness. An aloofness.

“Nothing bothers me. I don’t feel anything.”

Is that true?

Can you have your emotions? Why isn’t it ok for you to feel emotions?

Why isn’t it ok for you to express your emotions?

Which emotions are ‘forbidden’ in which contexts?

Which people can’t know about your feelings? Why?

This isn’t just an issue for men.

What would happen if people feel your emotions?

What happens if people know about your emotions? Especially those close to you?

What isn’t possible if people don’t feel your emotions?

What might some things be that you can do instead of choosing to go into “ice mode”?

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