When she and I first met, the energy that flowed between us was incredible.
Finishing each others’ sentences.
A dramatic pull to each other…so much that she had to say, “We have to make sure we don’t use all of each others’ time!”
Chakras aligned. Energies were exchanged.
We had a call every week and I felt that energy shift through the weeks.
Then, she invited me to come stay at her place for awhile. Ostensibly to “coach me every day on the situation with my son”.
Later the goals became:
- Stop taking responsibility/feeling responsible for other people.
- Get back into flow! [Erotically, orgasmically, etc.]
- Make $10k/month (since revised to $50k)
I had expected the energy to continue flowing.
Was. I. Ever. Wrong.
No energy flowing here!
She said, “Every guy falls in love with me. I hate that I can’t have any normal friendships with men. They all want to have sex with me!”
Difficult problem to have. One that many of you can relate to.
Some other issues for her:
- The ex was terrorizing — “I want him dead!” “I tremble whenever he calls.”
- One child didn’t want to go to school and it was a tremendous battle to make that happen every day.
- The boyfriend had been asked to move out. His kids were frustrating her. They had a “can’t live with you can’t live without you” thing going, because of her rather intimate profession.
- Aforementioned problem with male friends
- Business was doing OK, and the vision was much bigger
Some things she said:
- “I have to take care of everything and clean up after everyone.”
- “I have to be responsible for and take care of everyone.”
- “Women are oppressed and have to take care of everything.”
- “Men are selfish and predatory.” [Belief examination]
- “My relationship can’t go on like this.”
- “By the time I get him [son] out of bed and to school, my energy for the entire day is spent. He doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t cooperate at all.”
- “I have a greater vision for my work, but I don’t know how to make it happen.”
After a month of work every weekday (around 20 hours together so far) with:
- Karpman drama triangle
- NVC / Perfect Relating
- Emotional processing
- “Tell me” game (on emotional topics)
- Self-empathy meditation
- Mediation sessions
- “Just jumping into the middle of conversations”
- Her own shamanic journeying
- Tantric energy circle practice
- Coaching/mentoring and collaboration
Where are we now?
- The ex no longer feels like a monster. Just a person with feelings and needs that I can work with to get what I want. (They even laughed together on the phone!)
- A new educational solution was found for her son. She stopped ‘making him’ go to school and found something better. Found out what he needed and wanted.
- She learned how to collaborate with him to get his support for what she needed.
- She had a lot more help around the house–“I no longer feel like I have to run around cleaning up after people.” [Hasn’t said exactly that yet, but it’s coming.]
- Found some ideas to continue the deep loving relationship with the boyfriend that gets both their needs met.
All this despite:
- Kids getting sick and/or just staying home
- An extra two kids every other weekend
- An already full schedule when we started
- Space constraints
Most importantly, I felt her heart again today! We were exchanging energy.
The thing that felt dangerous, forbidden, scary to her she opened to…probably for the first time in a long time. Emotional intimacy is happening.
Her comment (with tears) today:
“I didn’t realize how much I don’t allow myself to receive!”
Yes. And you don’t, until you begin opening to receiving and you realize that:
- The struggle is optional.
- The world isn’t against you.
- People want to love and support you.
- There is abundance and not scarcity of what we need.
The energetic flow (see goal #2 above) Has been partially restored. It feels like the key for all the rest.
Here we go! Wish us luck for all the rest!