Category Archives: Women

Thawing the Ice Queen

“As she came down the stairs, each one froze in turn.”

When I feel a woman walk into a space “feeling icy”, I feel extremely extremely wary. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Icy is an expression. It’s an energetic choice.

Strong women sometimes include “icyness” as one of their strengths. They develop a hardness, a crispness, to their reactions. A coldness. An aloofness.

“Nothing bothers me. I don’t feel anything.”

Is that true?

Can you have your emotions? Why isn’t it ok for you to feel emotions?

Why isn’t it ok for you to express your emotions?

Which emotions are ‘forbidden’ in which contexts?

Which people can’t know about your feelings? Why?

This isn’t just an issue for men.

What would happen if people feel your emotions?

What happens if people know about your emotions? Especially those close to you?

What isn’t possible if people don’t feel your emotions?

What might some things be that you can do instead of choosing to go into “ice mode”?

“I want 21 sexual experiences every week!”

Of course you do.

You deserve massive orgasmic pleasurable experience regularly. 3x a day. More if you want!

And, if you aren’t getting that, let’s work on making that happen! I would be overjoyed for you to reach that goal.

And, when we dig deeper, what do we find? Why is it you want sex 21 times per week?

Well, each sexual experience seems to be only fulfilling you 33% for the day. I wonder if we can dramatically increase your pleasure and experience during sex (with yourself, alone, in your mind, through your breath…!!!) so that you reach a completely fulfilled and satisfied state?

I believe we can.

Perhaps it will be possible after just a session or two. More likely it will take a few weeks or a couple months to achieve.

I believe all women [and men] can completely up their orgasmic level with effort. It’s like playing the piano or ice dancing or a sport. This has been my experience.

If you raise your orgasmic potential, you can get 2x or 3x or even maybe 21x the pleasure from each experience that you are getting right now. Would that work as well?

Contact me and we’ll get on it.


Women who “Snow Under” with Their Talking

There is a very loving, gentle, patient kind sort of woman I am running into quite a bit recently. And I am sad for her.

In fact, they have been my prime clients for about a decade.

This woman isn’t disagreeable. She isn’t loud. She’s powerful. She accomplishes a lot. She is creating her own visions and manifesting her own dreams.

And, when she is with me, she tells fascinating compelling stories about how loving and charitable or smart she is and about how she helps people and never would be offensive.

And it’s there I lose her.

Language becomes ineffective with women for one of two reasons:

  1. A smart woman is [unconsciously] defending her egoic identity through language. Either by: preventing debate or challenge by volume, justifying her weaknesses and failures and fishing for sympathy, or distracting from the thing that would actually help her grow and solve the problem she is discussing.
  2. Or, this same woman can also have so much repressed erotic/life energy seeking a conduit that she uses her voice in a small way to s-l-o-w-l-y let out the energy that has no other expression.

So, very often, I use a particular command for these women.


It helps them tremendously.

I once sat at lunch with a woman like this without her uttering a word. We dropped in so deeply together. I felt her so much more powerfully. All because I took away her primary ego defense.

Sometimes I’ll just hold up a finger and she will stop in mid-sentence. She knows it’s time to be silent and listen. She has agreed to surrender her egoic identity or who she thinks she was when she was using words to express herself.

And, sometimes, she will start to cry.

Because she is seeing what is underneath the wall of words: the pain, the fear…whatever it is. And because the wall has come down, the emotions can come out. Then, the “compulsion” she feels to fill the space with language just evaporates all on its own.


Simple tools are very very powerful.

RULE #3:

3. I will allow myself to be interrupted by you.

“I’m Not a Real Goddess, But I play One on the Playa”

“A tantra workshop is where men go to worship women dressed like goddesses.” – Anon Good Friend

I thought that was hilarious when I first heard it. And pretty accurate as well.
After all, what does a goddess do?
  1. A goddess controls her world. Is there anything in your world–especially in your immediate environment that you are unsatisfied with? money? love/sex/romance? health? A goddess can fix any of those by snapping her fingers.
  2. A goddess is worshipped naturally. All those things that come to a goddess–power, obeisance, respect, reverence, worship–she doesn’t have to beg, hope for, or bully people to get. They just happen. They see her and they know. “She’s for real!”
  3. A goddess makes things better for everyone. Where a goddess is present, everyone is blessed. Everyone has more of what they want and need. Everyone is happier and more satisfied. Everyone feels that the world is a good place.
So, how is it–are you a goddess?
Or are you a goddess-in-training?
Or, even worse, do you only dress like a goddess?
It’s not really your fault. I understand how, when we discover the lies about the world and our childhood we want to quickly jump to the place where all is safe and we are in control…
But it’s important that we know where we are, because deluding ourselves about having ‘accomplished’ (believe me, I know), is a lot worse than realizing we have some work to do yet.
And there is no ‘jumping’. There is just climbing out of the pit we find ourselves in step-by-step, day by day until we reach our true god/goddesshood.
So what to do?
Be a goddess.
  1. Fearlessly clash with the Gods. If you want to be a goddess, you have to be able to handle the gods and their lesser versions, mere men. Can you handle them? Can you do battle with love and without losing your cool? And when you meet a “god”, are you awestruck or can you engage in power?
  2. Obtain servants. If there is some mission you have in the world or something you want to change about your life, do you have the right servants to help you? A true goddess needs and graciously accepts supporters, guides, and patrons. She gathers wisdom and power for all her acts.
  3. Radiate. Are you able to allow your beauty and power to bless and improve lives wherever you go? Or are you scared to let your magnificence be seen? Practice letting your blessings divide to all wherever you are.
Want more evil nasty goddess-bashing goodness?