Category Archives: Money

The Admiration Economy Manifesto

Yet another friend mentioned it: the Dinosaur in the Room.

“We’re barely making ends meet. There is so much suffering in the world. How are we ever going to make the world we want, solve society’s problems, and get power from those who seem to rule everything so destructively?”

I smiled that smile you smile when you are embarrassed because you don’t have the answer to a very important question. Finally, just to break the silence, I said, “We’re all doing our best…”

And that was the end of it.

Except, I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation–which echoed so many similar conversations as well as my own thoughts–or his depressed energy. He might as well have said, “We’re never going to escape this concentration camp!” for all the hope I heard in his voice.

How are we going to escape?

I stewed on it for days. I couldn’t let it go. And I prayed.

“There has to be an answer. Help me find it.”

It became an inner battle. I pushed and pondered and focused and struggled and wrestled and fought…I knew there was some solution wanting to come out.

After days of this, the battle ended.

The smoke cleared.

It was obvious.

Of course!

Let me lead you through the path to The Answer if I may.

How much money do you give to people and causes you do not support or like?

Taxes? Rent? Mortgages? Bills? Repairs? Insurance?

The list goes on and on.

Things we have to pay.

Places where we have no choice.

How does that feel?

Now, how much money do you give to people and causes you admire, appreciate, and love?

When you do that, how does that feel?

If you are like me, most of your money has gone to things and organizations you weren’t happy about supporting–just to stay alive.

I have even contemplated dropping out of society to ‘get away from it all’.

But giving up money has costs as well. Life would be much harder. Where do I get food? Where do I live? I wouldn’t be with the people I love. I couldn’t do many things I really wanted to do.

Worst of all: I couldn’t help make this a better world for myself or anyone else. I couldn’t see how quitting would change anything.

That couldn’t be the solution.

So, what was?

To take control and use the power I had to steadily raise the percentage of money I spend and give to people and causes I admire, appreciate, and love.

But how?

One day I was reading a brilliant article by a brilliant person whom I really admired. I thought, “Wow. They did this so well. This really helped me. I wish I could thank them in some way.”

And then I thought, “What would I want, if I were them?”

I would appreciate some token of gratitude. And I would be happy with money.

So, I asked them, “How can I pay you?”

They sent a link.

I sent $5.

Something powerful moved in me. Something awoke. I felt good.

$5 wasn’t a huge amount of money. But it allowed me to take some of what I had and use my power to actually make a physical difference to someone who had touched and improved my life through their work.

I didn’t even explain why I had sent the money. And they never asked. They just said ‘thank you!’ And that was fine.

It felt like I had expressed myself and my feelings in a tangible way. I felt like I had exercised real power. I felt like I had chipped a little chunk off of a system that kept sucking so much life energy from me and all of us.

So, let me ask you this:

  • What percentage of your income goes to places, people, and things you wish you didn’t have to support?
  • And what percentage are you joyful and happy to give, spend, and pay?
  • How would it feel to continually increase the amount and percentage you were spending in the second category?

That would feel awesome, wouldn’t it?


Allow me to introduce you to the Admiration Economy.

The Admiration Economy works like this:

When someone does something you admire or appreciate, no matter large or small, you find a way to give them money, in return.

  • Perhaps they inspired you.
  • Or they comforted you.
  • Or they helped you.
  • Or maybe they just listened.
  • Or, maybe they are doing something that inspires you, such as working on a cause you feel strongly about.

I know it might seem strange at first, but this is a major secret for gaining power in the world we live in.

If you look at the ‘top’ of society, there are many people making money for each other. We look up and call it nepotism or corruption. But that ‘mutual benefit’ is a big part of what keeps the machine going.

Do we want to have that power? Then we must start helping each other and sharing so that we can give each other more and more money. Eventually, the part of the world that supports things we don’t like will shrink and the part we enjoy will grow.

Try it on. See how it feels.

Here’s the secret that has been hidden from us:

  • We do have power.
  • We can change things.
  • And, to do so, we must first realize that and use the power we have.

Consciously deciding to take part in the Admiration Economy allows that to happen.

And, yes, we can also receive that way.

But where you can start now is to give. To anyone you want to give to.

Try it. See what happens.

Let’s take our power back and change the world!



Q: Does it matter how much I give?
A: Because you are doing this of your own free will (not because of an agreement), don’t worry about it being somehow ‘not enough’. Even a dollar is a fantastic start. As you become used to it and gain more confidence (and begin receiving more), you can contribute more.

Q: Will I get more money as a result of this?
A: Every time I have practiced this principle, I have been rewarded far beyond what I have ever given.

Q: I’m embarrassed. How do I explain this?
A: Don’t be. Just say you wanted to give a gift or you admired them or their work or you are grateful. You don’t own them an explanation! 🙂

Q: I gave, but they weren’t as grateful as I had hoped.
A: The results for you and the world are not dependent on the other person. Concentrate on using your power and how that feels.

Q: I don’t know how to send money easily. How do I?
A: You can now send money with a debit card to anyone who has a Facebook account! Just use the dollar sign at the bottom of the chat window. Also, PayPal works great. You could even stick a dollar in an envelope and mail it! If in doubt, ask the receiver what would work for them.

Q: I’m afraid if I do this, I won’t have enough?
A: This is where this becomes a spiritual exercise and practice. You can start small. You can also feel into your deepest truth or connection with the Divine to find out if this is a good idea for you or how much to give to whom. When we give, somehow we realize our abundance even more. And miracles stream from giving, no matter whether money, time, energy or anything else given in love.


Please, get rich

When I first found ‘my’ spirituality, I brought my beliefs about money into it:

  • Love of money is the root of all evil (better not have too much!)
  • Easier for the camel to get through the eye of the needle than a rich man into heaven
  • By asking for money for my work, I deprive people who have little/none of my service


  • Money was responsible for my parents fighting/divorce
  • Money is used to make weapons to kill people
  • Money is used to keep people in poverty

Guess how my finances looked when I was really feeding these beliefs?

A few years ago, I was even seriously considering going ‘off grid’…moving up to some mountain and living without money.

However, God then said, “Ryan, I want you to move to the most expensive city in the US.”

Alright. Better figure out this money thing.

What I learned was that money is just a tool. Like a table. Or chair. Or calculus.

It’s a concept of organization we use. It has no volition. Money doesn’t go *do* anything on its own. It has no moral imperative.

*People* do things with money.

And, if we don’t like the things that some people do with money, or the world around us as affected by money, how do we change them?

By staying poor and begging them to change?

Or by bringing more and more money under our control so we can use it to influence the world in ways we want?

Then I began to see all the positive things money does and that rich people do.

I conducted a ‘money forgiveness process’ to let go of my grudges and anger and fear around money.

I had my first $10k coaching month shortly thereafter.

And I began to see how so much of what we all can do to serve others and the world around us is limited and stopped by our fears and beliefs around money. Especially with healers, coaches, counselors, and others seeking to serve and do good.

So, despite the fact that my favorite things to teach often have to do with healing, client work, relating, sexuality, etc…I started sharing more and more about my breakthroughs with money, business, sales, and healing those beliefs. If we don’t get our money stuff handled in this society, our effectiveness is simply limited. That’s all there is to it.

Get my “5 Keys to a $10k/month practice” on (you can get it on the right of that page) for you if you want to know how to build a large, successful, sustainable biz in our field–or anything dealing with people directly 1:1.

Please, get rich.

Get rich for yourself (how effectively can you help others when your tank is almost empty?).

Get rich for those you serve.

Get rich to magnify your energy for good in the world.

Let me know if you want help.

Dealing with Money $%^&

So many of us respond to something we want with ‘I can’t afford it’!

If I told you all the stuff I have done and do even though ‘I can’t afford it’, your jaw would drop.

Would you like to clear your money $%^& so you can get what you actually want?

Here’s a powerful process I use.

First, *decide what it is you want*.

Most of us don’t allow ourselves to *really want* anything that we feel we can’t get. We think it’s painful. (I wonder where we learned that desire is painful?) I have learned that NOT desiring is MORE painful!

Look at a 5-year-old. Do they allow themselves to want things that they are being denied or can’t get?


And what happens?

Parents weaken. Grandma shows up. SOMEONE gives them what they want, sooner or later.

Why? Because they know how to ask and they don’t give up. We *learned* to stop wanting and not ask anymore.

“Except you become like little children, you can’t live in the kingdom of God”.

Time to go BACK to that space. Here’s how you do it.


Step 1: ALLOW yourself to WANT whatever you want. Truly. Deeply. Powerfully. Let it vibrate and resonate within you. Feel the EMOTIONS and SENSATIONS and FEELINGS that you would feel if you had that thing. IMAGINE your life as you EXPERIENCE it. Allow yourself to be consumed with these feelings.

Step 2: BECOME AWARE of how things are right *now*. Really *feel it* in your bones. Feel the fear, if it is there. Feel the sadness, if it is there. Feel the rage of being denied or held back! Really allow yourself to deep dive into the feelings of WANTING what you want and the gap between THAT and reality, whatever those feelings are. Give yourself time for this.

(By the way, if you WANT something, it’s because you can have it.)

Step 3: LIST all the reasons you believe you can’t have what you want. Write them all down. Then put a number from 1-10 next to them about how TRUE they feel. 10=totally true.

THEN, have a conversation with yourself about each of these BELIEFS. Examine them. Talk to yourself about them.

“Is this true?” “Am I sure?” Start there and have a ‘back and forth’ with the part of you that believes that.

Limiting beliefs can *always* be deconstructed.

Do that until you resolve each of the beliefs down to 2 or less out of 10.

Step 4: Take WHATEVER action you feel inspired to to move toward your desire.

Step 5: LET GO. Let God/Higher Self do his/her/its thing.

That’s it!

In summary, to get what you want:

1. Imagine what you want and how HAVING IT would feel, in detail.

2. Feel where you are now deeply.

3. List all the reasons #1 can’t happen.
Talk to yourself about each of those reasons until you see they are nonsense.

4. Take whatever action you are inspired to take.

5. Let go.

I’m loving the opportunity to present these ideas in context for a purpose. Try it out!

All of You Have to Make $100k+


Because it makes you happy.

Studies appear to show that general well-being levels off after a certain level of income is reached. That level is pretty generally around $75k for employees in the US.

Since those who are self-employed have to pay their own benefits, this rounds out to somewhere around $100k for them.

When potential clients approach me, this is the first thing we look at. None of them has everything they want or need on a physical level if they aren’t grossing these kinds of numbers.

And we live in a material world, as Madonna famously said, after all.

So, if you don’t have a vision nor a plan to get you to that place, you probably won’t be very happy.

Yes, I know the starving artists and musicians and comics on their way to success. The healers who give away their time and feel it’s ok to be in poverty.

But if you were generating value to people in line with your potential value, you would be helping people on a much deeper level and making a multiple of what you make now.

So, I won’t accept or work with anyone who doesn’t want to make at least $100k a year.

And, if you come to me, this is the first thing we solve together, if it isn’t solved already.

After your basic needs are met (put your oxygen mask on first, before you can help others), then we can go after all your crazy dreams.

Why you are worth $1000/hr

80% of people….probably 95%–are not very good at their job. Why? Because they are in the wrong job!

When someone finds what they are *really* meant to do, their income can increase 4-20x because their power and contribution increases by that amount.

  • I taught English as a foreign language. I was OK at it. I could live from it.
  • I wrote technical manuals (woo hoo!)
  • I ran a translation agency.
  • I was an IT consultant.

I was just fine at all of these things. Pretty good. Pretty quick. Fine. I lived.

But it wasn’t what I was made for.

This is what I was made for!

This uses 100% of my skills, abilities, and talents (and then some!). This is super-challenging. This is making a difference.

And I love it.

And what is the potential here? 10x what I earned doing something I didn’t really like. Maybe 100x, over time. Why? Because I will stick with it. Because I’m passionate about it. Because it fits me.

If you’ve discovered who you are, go do that thing that provides that value to the world.

And suddenly, you will earn much more helping people much more powerfully and deeply.

Why you should come out of the shadows (working in the dark vs light)


Darkness to LightWebinar Signup Link – Thu. Mar 19th

Working in the shadow gets us a lot of what we want in some ways and often prevents us from getting what we want in other ways.

Things like:

  • Working under a pseudonym
  • Advertising in places we don’t visit otherwise
  • Using our body as our primary attention-getting marketing tactic
  • …and so on.

…may SEEM very useful in the beginning. But they can be crutches that can handicap our long-term effectiveness and success.

So, how can we impact the world how we want and make the money we know we deserve?

  • How do we go from ‘working in the shadow’ to ‘shining in the light?’
  • How does being transparent about who we are and what our mission is bring us more and better clients?

After being ‘in this industry’ for seven years and working and speaking with hundreds people doing massage, dakini work, and working with intimacy, I have seen what allows someone to move ‘to the next level’.

I’m hosting a conversation about this topic on: Thursday, March 19th at 11 AM PST.

We’re going to cover the above and answer your questions.

The truth is, you have both a transformation to undergo and to provide to help you move from the shadow to the light.

This conversation will be free.

Click here to sign up.

What’s Your Time Worth?

MoneyReally. What is your time worth?

Truly. Honestly. Deeply….

…in the universal sense?

What is an hour of your time worth?

The answer?

Whatever you think it’s worth.

If you think it’s worth $12, that’s what you’re gonna get for it.

If you think it’s worth $250, that’s what you are going to get.

If you think it’s worth $1000, same thing, sooner or later.

Several people I know charge over $2000 an hour. Some charge much more.

Sure, once you’ve decided what an hour of your time is worth, then you have to find a way to convince someone to give you that money for your time.

But that’s the easy part. The much harder part is actually deciding and believing that you are worth it in the first place.

Once you know what your time is worth, it’s just a matter of finding a few people to pay you that amount for that time.

After all, if you double your prices, you only need half as many people to pay you that amount to make exactly as much as you were making before.

$100/hr x 20hr/week = $2000

$250 x 8hr/week = $2000

$500 x 4hr/week = $2000

What do you think is easier?  Convincing 20 people to pay you $100 or convincing four people to pay you $500?

It’s actually much easier to get a few clients with higher rates.

People equate high prices to value. They don’t believe you would charge that much unless you are good.

And yes, you have to deliver.

But is the car that costs 10x as much as a ‘normal car’ really 10x as good as getting you from A to B?

Do $500 jeans keep you better covered or 10x warmer than $50 jeans?


And yet, how many of you are there?


How easy is it for someone to get exactly the experience and value they get from you?

Probably pretty hard.

So, why would you deprive yourself of earning what you are actually capable of receiving?

What are you worth?

Talk to me if you want to start getting what you are really worth.


What ‘Coachable’ Means and Why it’s Important

Pride. Uncoachable. “Consulting resistant”. It all boils down to the same thing: Staying stuck.

Because ‘the map is not the territory’. We have a ‘map’ of life, which we use to live and get what we want. Most of it was created before we knew the alphabet by things our parents said and did.

And if that map isn’t getting us what we want, it’s not because there isn’t a route from A –> B. It’s because our map is wrong.

Which is fine, update the map, right?

This is the ‘coachable’ part

Coachability refers to your ability to have your map called into question. It means you are willing to try uncomfortable things to get results you don’t have.

If you are coachable, you listen to those who seem to be getting better results than you are.

It’s the difference between having the same results forever, and growing and learning.

It’s the difference between stagnation and wild success.

It’s being ‘humble’. Realizing you don’t know everything. That you have a lot to learn. And it’s absolutely essential for getting to where you want to go.

Read about the Five Traits of Coachability here. And a questionnaire about it.

Do you feel, by virtue of your:

  • Age
  • Experience
  • Intelligence
  • What their mom said about them
  • History
  • Thoughts
  • Emotions

…think you they have nothing left to learn?

Do you have extremely limiting beliefs about money, sales, or marketing? (Try this out to begin to let these go. Also: the Principles.)