Category Archives: Marketing

Why I’m Sad

To be honest, I was sad when I heard about a dear friend spending $50k to learn what we are continually learning in our new structure.
That’s fine.
  • You may like learning in a fancy hotel.
  • You may like the teacher more. 😮
  • And the marketing may be fancier (although I’ve learned to be cautious about super slick marketing).
How do I know it’s the same stuff?
Because *everyone* teaches the same stuff.
All the greats and experts. 1-2-3 ABC.
And I learned from the best. And then I went and learned a half-dozen other people’s systems and got tiny pieces to add. But, basically it was all in the first guy’s stuff. (Which I paid for to learn 1:1–the best way for me.)
I recently had someone say (actually I’ve heard this several times): “I just spent $40k / $50k / $100k with no results! Why would I spend money with you??”
Sorry you “wasted” 10’s of 1000’s of dollars. But what does that have to do with me?
To make those people happy, I introduced a $200k program. So, that’s possible for people who want and need that.
The sad truth is that most of the people who attend an event or a program expecting that to be the solution will never use the information or become anything more than they are right now.
No one can do your pushups for you.
But, knowing which exercises to do is a good thing. There is value there.
The $50k program? You probably won’t get any time from the person running it. But their bank account thanks you.
Eventually, people will migrate back to the ‘trust’ economy. And not the short-term pumped-up trust of the skilled marketer, but real trust, established over time.
I’m confident that I am optimally placed for that. Actually, I know it, because my income has doubled every month since I started with this new thing.
If you want for $54 a month what most business coaches are charging $10k a pop for, join us.

Youtube ^%$#@% Us

I have advised everyone for years not to make YouTube their primary revenue source. And now, we see why.

In a heartbeat, many advertisers lost 90-100% of the ad revenue. Anything Youtube considered “not mainstream” was hit.

This included just about everything related to sexuality as well as many other topics (guns, race, gender equality, etc) that were deemed ‘non-advertiser friendly’.

Many of my dear friends were hit by this rather hard.

Repeat after me:

You cannot rely on advertisers to finance your revolutionary empire.

Not if you are creating content that in any way undermines the status quo. And, sadly, the status quo is not to actually solve people’s problems, but to sell them products to distract them from the fact that they have a problem.

This is part of the greater war that has been brewing between those with power and the rest of us, just like the FetLife credit card pull-out, the ban on certain types of erotica in the UK, internet censorship in the UK, new regs around sex in France and Germany, the war to end Net Neutrality in the US, and more.

They see we are making progress. That progress will not be stopped. And so every possible stop is being pulled.

This is global, coordinated, and consistent.

What to do instead?

  1. Be clear about the war you are in.
  2. Find partners, investors, patrons, and learn to sell like hell.
  3. Commit for the long term–or find another line of work.
  4. Get community support.
  5. Be wise in your provocations.
  6. Develop yourself emotionally as well as professionally
  7. Move out of the shadows–Get loud and proud

So much to say about all of these. I will add more later.

The Million Dollar Session

If you had a client come to you and say,

“I have one million dollars that I need to spend with you in a single day. What will that day look like?”

What would you say?

The exercise of creating the million-dollar session can be very powerful for focusing yourself into everything you have to offer–all your superpowers and all your gifts.

How would your client need to prepare? How long beforehand?

How would you need to prepare? What pampering would you do with yourself? Would you have a chauffeur? Or would you arrive in a helicopter? Or would they come to you?

How would the experience go?

What senses would be involved?

What stages would the session have? How long would they take?

Where would it need to be? What ambience? What nature? What kind of building?

Don’t work in a vacuum

I have a friend who is brilliant at understanding one of society’s key problems.

He published a best-selling book about it and then spent years and a lot of money creating the perfect product to solve this very problem. He’s launching it with the very well-structured program.

And, it will not only not change people’s lives like he wishes, it won’t actually even sell.

I and many colleagues have spent months, sometimes years, devising systems to heal and support others and the planet, and very often, step out and begin marketing with great vigor only to find out:

Nobody cares!

Nobody wants to buy this big program you just created.

Nobody wants to sign up to the coaching program you devised.

Why not?

There can be a couple reasons.

The biggest?

You have not been in communication with your ‘target audience’. In fact, you don’t even know who they are. You haven’t spent time eyeball-to-eyeball asking them questions and digging into their real issues and concerns, nor do you understand the language they use to discuss them.

It’s not your fault, of course. You were not encouraged to understand your compatriots in school. You were told to do things alone and get things done without help (it was called cheating). The others were your competitors. Not sources of solutions for your problems.

This will kill you in real life and entrepreneurship.

If you don’t fix this thinking and ‘join the human race’, you can’t teach or give humanity much of anything.

You have to get in the trenches. Find a problem. Solve it for a few people. Find out that your system works. And then magnify it from there.

And you have to keep trying.

Most savvy marketers succeed with about 2/10 products that they launch. If they do better than that, it’s because they were constantly in contact with their market.

I knew my target market for years before I actually got serious commitment from any of them.

I spent years talking to them, revising my ideas, coming back and offering again. Over and over. Until it ‘clicked’.

And once it clicks, watch out!

(R)evolutionaries: do not design your products and services in a vacuum. Constantly be in communication with your market. Offer your stuff for free to get it really polished. Take your time to develop relationships with the people you want to help.

It’s vulnerable. It’s scary. You will hear things you don’t like. But it’s the way to success–as measured by pretty much every spiritual or ‘secular’ metric that exists.

Write a Love Letter

Remember when you used to get letters? Handwritten? Remember how that felt? [If not, imagine it ;)]

Someone took time out to write to you. Then they took the time to put a stamp on it and put it in the mailbox.

In just a few days, you received it!


We read them over and over. We pondered every word. We thought about what they were thinking.

And, more often than not, we wrote back.

And that was fine, because it took about a week for the mail to to get there and back. Correspondence went slowly. Not like an e-mail, where you can completely exhaust yourself of ideas going back and forth like ping-pong balls.

It was difficult for us letter-writers, when e-mail came along. All the sudden, we would write, send, and then, *bing!* a message came back! Now what? haha…kids these days.

But that’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is about helping your clients.

Why help clients?

That is how you get paid. And, you get a wonderful feeling from helping people.

Not enough clients?

Write a letter.

Sure, you can write an e-mail. But spend as much time, care, attention, and focus as if it were a letter. As if you were going to mail it and want someone you to read it with care.

What will you write?

You’ll write what your heart feels:

  • How you felt with them the last time
  • How much progress they made or what kind of experience you shared
  • What vision you see for them
  • What you would like them to experience

In other words, it is like a love letter. A deep, meaningful connection from you to them recalling the good times and inviting them back into an experience or deeper transformation with you.

This can work wonders.

It may not make everyone come back immediately.

But the energy it sends out to the universe attracts those who are ready and willing to do the very journey that you described. You can even use some of the things you wrote to describe your services or for future marketing copy.

No clients? Write a ‘love letter’ to your old clients every day and send it via e-mail and tell me about the results.


Using a Mailing List to Maximagnify Your Income

The #1 most important thing in your business are the people who come to give you money for services rendered. Right?

The second most important thing are leads. Meaning, people who might come to give you money for your services.

Both of these categories of people are found on your mailing list.

Your mailing list should consist of all the people who have ever had any level of contact with you OR have expressed interest in what you do.

That is your list.

Offering the people on your list things makes you money.

It’s that simple.

But what I see people do:

  1. No list at all
  2. Not ‘managing’ list (adding new contacts, growing constantly)
  3. Not communicating with the list ever
  4. Communicating “everything I’m about” every time you send an e-mail.

How to fix these:

  1. Get a list provider. DON’T just manage things on your own. Mailchimp works well.
  2. Provide enough value (webinars are a great way) to add 100 people to your list every month.
  3. Offer value to your list for free regularly (that isn’t your 1:1 time).
  4. Make powerful offers monthly or more to engage with you.



How to Change People’s Lives


Serve them!

Listen to the recording above for a sad story.

Here’s a story I recently lived with a powerful healer with lots of money she was leaving on the table–literally! Which would be fine except that she is going to make much less of a difference to her clients as well.

I used to be in this same boat. I closed up shop and went on a multi-year journey to learn how to change things. And now I am going to share what I’ve learned with you.

Click here to sign up for the free webinar this Thursday and find out how you can transform your sexual healing business.

I’m going to take some volunteers on Thursday as well. So we will take apart your business and put it together for free in a mini-session. This usually costs $500. So if you are brave enough to do this publicly, you can get a lot of value for free.

Darkness to Light

I recently gave the ‘From Darkness to Light’ webinar about doing that exactly with your practice. Contact me for a link to that webinar.
Here’s the steps:
1. Find out what’s special about you. What do you offer “in addition”?
2. Think about what “Results in advance” you can offer.
3. Who are you advertising to? Know them. Find them. Speak to them, wherever they are.
5. Offer a long-term path to people to support them in getting what they want.
This article is a placeholder for more detailed information about the topic coming soon.