- You may like learning in a fancy hotel.
- You may like the teacher more. 😮
- And the marketing may be fancier (although I’ve learned to be cautious about super slick marketing).
I have advised everyone for years not to make YouTube their primary revenue source. And now, we see why.
In a heartbeat, many advertisers lost 90-100% of the ad revenue. Anything Youtube considered “not mainstream” was hit.
This included just about everything related to sexuality as well as many other topics (guns, race, gender equality, etc) that were deemed ‘non-advertiser friendly’.
Many of my dear friends were hit by this rather hard.
Repeat after me:
You cannot rely on advertisers to finance your revolutionary empire.
Not if you are creating content that in any way undermines the status quo. And, sadly, the status quo is not to actually solve people’s problems, but to sell them products to distract them from the fact that they have a problem.
This is part of the greater war that has been brewing between those with power and the rest of us, just like the FetLife credit card pull-out, the ban on certain types of erotica in the UK, internet censorship in the UK, new regs around sex in France and Germany, the war to end Net Neutrality in the US, and more.
They see we are making progress. That progress will not be stopped. And so every possible stop is being pulled.
This is global, coordinated, and consistent.
What to do instead?
- Be clear about the war you are in.
- Find partners, investors, patrons, and learn to sell like hell.
- Commit for the long term–or find another line of work.
- Get community support.
- Be wise in your provocations.
- Develop yourself emotionally as well as professionally
- Move out of the shadows–Get loud and proud
So much to say about all of these. I will add more later.
For almost a decade, I have been dreaming about The Revolution.
The Revolution in relating, sexuality, intimacy, and communication that will serve and enable the Great Transformation of society.
The Great Transformation is when we finally abandon deceit, violence, and fear and embrace love, peace, and each other to make this world as beautiful as it can be.
We are leaving the Tribulation, the Kali Yuga…a time of immense deception and suffering.
You can feel it.
I can feel it.
And millions of other people can feel it.
Except: most of them don’t know what to do about it.
You and I do.
Because we felt it and suffered for a long while to learn about ourselves and the world, to find solutions that we and the world need before.
Are you ready?
To teach? To share? To build?
To transform the world?
Here is what is going to happen:
In the next five years, there will be thousands of teachers, healers, guides, and mentors in consciousness and transformation who will have lines out the door as people finally decide to find healing, and embrace the truth about themselves and the world.
Those that have prepared will change many lives and create movements that will mold the direction of things to come for centuries.
This may coincide with tremendous social changes as the foundations for many of the organizations that have ‘held’ society for a long while collapse:
- Higher education which no longer serves the individual or society.
- A health care system that has largely lost the focus of loving the individual it serves.
- A legal system that serves the rich and powerful to the detriment of the poor and weak.
- An economic system based on wage slavery and endless growth will restructure along the lines of service to human needs instead of the few.
- “Borders and walls” will collapse as people realize that no one owns the world but we all have stewardship over it.
- Religions will transform.
- Food production and distribution will change dramatically.
- War will finally be seen as immoral and futile.
And that’s just the beginning.
We will, as a society, see what matters.
And then, you will be needed.
As hard as you might feel it is now to find people who need you and explain to them exactly what it is you do, it will be equally so to find time to take care of all the people who desperately need you as this happens–if you have successfully profiled yourself and allowed your light to shine.
So. What are you going to do?
Do you have a calling?
Of course you do.
Do you know what it is?
I bet you have an idea.
Would you like to pursue that calling–your mission–in a group of passionate, like-minded friends and colleagues?
Great! Join us here.
There are four stages of turning your ‘thing you do’ into your career.
Here are the questions.
1. Can I help anyone?
2. Am I helping people?
3. Am I getting paid to help people?
4. Am I getting paid enough to live on to help people?
In the “can I help anyone?” stage, you are learning modalities, going to workshops, honing your craft, and figuring out whether anyone benefits from this thing you like.
Early in my life I figured out people weren’t *really* into listening to me sing 🙁
However, later I learned that they *really* enjoyed and benefited from my touch and energy healing skills. That’s when I decided: “Hey. This may become a thing I do!”
Once I figured out I could help people, I got a bunch of guinea pigs to let me test out my skills. Couchsurfers. Friends. Family. Acquaintances. People on the bus.
Eventually, I had enough that I could do it all the time. Except, I had a job and nobody was paying me.
So I started asking for money. Just a little bit at first.
A lot of people who were happy to get something for nothing disappeared. But enough stayed for me to realize, “Hey! There is money to be made here!”
A lot of people get stuck here. But don’t stop!
After that, I spent a *lot* of money and time figuring out the piece that took me from ‘a little’ money to ‘enough money to live comfortably’.
That took a lot of coaching and studying at first. After that, a lot of practice, self-discovery, and reinvention.
If you are in any of these spaces, all that is available at my program. Start where you are and get to the ‘living comfortably’.
Yesterday we talked about Tracy’s situation.
Today, I want to talk about the way forward. Specifically, I want to talk about the strategy for getting ‘the mainstream’ folk on board with the healing we all so desperately need.
This is my story.
I was praying and meditating about how to reach millions with this healing? How are we going to make sacred and healthy sexuality and intimacy as easy and safe to practice and learn as yoga is today?
That night, I had a dream where I was with my dearest friends in a dark cottage. I was sobbing with them about ‘finding my way home’.
I smelled the pungency of pot in the air.
I woke up, it was 4:20 AM.
Since then, I have been seeing 420 everywhere.
I wondered “What has marijuana got to do with healing sexuality?”
I thought of all sorts of possibilities, but none of them made sense. Until I found this magazine in Las Vegas: http://elevatenv.com/digital-issues/
It’s a magazine about *medical* pot usage. It appeals to the masses–“help your football players get healthy by using medical marijuana!”. It’s education. It’s support.
I thought about how the FIGHT for sexual freedom is very similar to the battle for the right to use the plants which God has provided.
That battle raged for a looong time until those who wanted legalization found the way to get support and sympathy from the public:
**Appeal to those who want the sick to heal.**
This means: kids with leukemia. Mothers dying of cancer. People suffering and who were not getting relief from hospital painkillers, or where those painkillers had tremendous side effects.
Everyone wants to help cancer sufferers, right?
Everyone cares for those who are sick, right?
And this has become the doorway. First, it was a medical ‘exemption’. Then, full-on legalization.
In Colorado and Washington State, people are not having ‘reefer madness’. Society hasn’t collapsed. Death and carnage do not reign supreme. People see that.
People can be trusted with freedom to use what they need for their bodies.
Soon, marijuana will be legal everywhere.
How does this apply to intimacy and sexuality training?
Who is suffering in our society?
- The disabled
- The infirm aged (bedridden and alone)
- Veterans (22 veterans commit suicide per day, I have read)
And what heals like almost nothing else?
Connection. Touch. Affection.
Premature babies do much better when getting touch. There are studies. There is proof.
Why is cuddling as a business taking America by storm?
Because touch is a basic need.
We need to help people see that:
1. Touch *is* a basic need.
2. Those who do not have the ‘market value’ to get touch will go without it–and will be lonely, and suffer. And maybe even die.
3. There are many people willing to support those who otherwise would not have touch and healing.
4. We need to make touch as a ‘healing modality’ safe and easy to get for those who need it.
That is Phase I.
We need to come out of the shadows and begin educating and supporting people around getting touch in their lives as a first step to healthy sexuality (sex is, after all, another form of touch.)
We will talk about how we and others are doing that and can do it in the new group we are creating just for this purpose.
I personally am not satisfied with helping a few people get some relief and even some healing in the shadows. I want to change the conversation. I need to make this world a place worth living in both for myself and everyone else.
And the shift is already on.
Let me know if this resonates with you.
Tracy Elise, of the Phoenix Goddess Temple, was convicted on all counts of things that would make a Mafia Boss blush.
An Enemy of the State who refused to kiss the Ring of Power, those at the top are determined to make an example of her. She now faces a prison term. We don’t know for how long.
It’s a tragedy for the whole community.
“She wasn’t doing anything wrong!”
“She was in the right!”
“Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want!”
I hear you.
I don’t know exactly what happened in the Temple. A number of my friends worked there and have reported various things. And, I am going to assume that Tracy is motivated to heal and support others, as we all are:
She isn’t into sexual healing to make a quick buck.
She wasn’t there to traffic young women into selling their bodies for cash.
She is here to heal and change the world.
So, why the prison sentence? Is the system corrupt?
Is this part of a massive conspiracy against pleasure?
And, could she have done things differently?
A couple quotes come to mind. “Agree with your enemy quickly, because otherwise you are going to get taken to jail.” (paraphrased)
“He was right, dead right, as he sped along. But he’s just as dead as if he were wrong.”
And, finally, “The way of the fool is right in his own eyes.”
There are three people involved in every transaction.
2. Your client
3. The greater community.
Tracy didn’t seem to understand #3.
Tracy made strategic mistakes, which led to tactical ones. And, ultimately, they led to the situation she is in now.
I admire her bravery. I admire her courage. And, though I have often thought I would die for what I believe, I can’t help but think it isn’t going to help people much if I am stuck in prison, regardless of the rightness of my cause. My scope of influence will be reduced.
If you are reading this, you probably are interested in sexuality, sexual education, and sexual healing.
Either you are practicing. Or you are teaching. Or you know that this needs to happen.
Each of us gets to decide whether we: change to a ‘safer’ career path, end up in jail, eek along with a living, live in fear of arrest, or end up creating and being part of a movement that touches millions of lives.
If you want to change the world in a big way, you must understand the greater community–and that is the one that Tracy seems not to understand.
Whatever you think about Nicole Daedone–One Taste has found a way to adapt to the world it is in, and still create and teach the structures that are healing sexual guilt and shame in the bigger community. And, by the way, it made $6.5 *million* dollars last year in the effort.
So what do we learn from these two examples?
1. It pays to get lots of good advice and support.
2. Our success lies within knowing ourselves, our clients, AND the world in which we are living and operating.
Why do I say this? Part of my mission is helping you fulfill yours–if your mission is around sexuality. We are changing the world, one person at a time. And we are doing it *together*.
One way to do this is to join a small group I am putting together to discuss the deeper strategy of *how* to create the world we want. We are not going to do it alone–none of us. All of our gifts and magic is needed. And the rewards for stepping fully into our light are beyond what we can comprehend.
If you feel called to be a part of this transformation–call me or reply to this mail. We are gathering a group who will change things in a very big way. Wisely. Intelligently. Powerfully.
What do you think? Are you in?
I have a friend who is brilliant at understanding one of society’s key problems.
He published a best-selling book about it and then spent years and a lot of money creating the perfect product to solve this very problem. He’s launching it with the very well-structured program.
And, it will not only not change people’s lives like he wishes, it won’t actually even sell.
I and many colleagues have spent months, sometimes years, devising systems to heal and support others and the planet, and very often, step out and begin marketing with great vigor only to find out:
Nobody wants to buy this big program you just created.
Nobody wants to sign up to the coaching program you devised.
There can be a couple reasons.
You have not been in communication with your ‘target audience’. In fact, you don’t even know who they are. You haven’t spent time eyeball-to-eyeball asking them questions and digging into their real issues and concerns, nor do you understand the language they use to discuss them.
It’s not your fault, of course. You were not encouraged to understand your compatriots in school. You were told to do things alone and get things done without help (it was called cheating). The others were your competitors. Not sources of solutions for your problems.
This will kill you in real life and entrepreneurship.
If you don’t fix this thinking and ‘join the human race’, you can’t teach or give humanity much of anything.
You have to get in the trenches. Find a problem. Solve it for a few people. Find out that your system works. And then magnify it from there.
And you have to keep trying.
Most savvy marketers succeed with about 2/10 products that they launch. If they do better than that, it’s because they were constantly in contact with their market.
I knew my target market for years before I actually got serious commitment from any of them.
I spent years talking to them, revising my ideas, coming back and offering again. Over and over. Until it ‘clicked’.
And once it clicks, watch out!
(R)evolutionaries: do not design your products and services in a vacuum. Constantly be in communication with your market. Offer your stuff for free to get it really polished. Take your time to develop relationships with the people you want to help.
It’s vulnerable. It’s scary. You will hear things you don’t like. But it’s the way to success–as measured by pretty much every spiritual or ‘secular’ metric that exists.
Download the Transcript (PDF)
This was a rather fun interview I did with Eyal from intimatepower.com about coaching, the state of sexual healing, mentoring, working hands-on vs hands-off, trust, and lots more.
Find Eyal here.
Some key points (thanks to Eyal for writing these down):
- Everyone needs a coach.
- Focus on the results you bring to your clients, not on your title.
- To get started or to grow your business, learn to speak in front of people in a room or even just on a webinar.
- Most kinds of coaching can work via skype.
- Aim to have both local and international clients.
- Why talented spiritual people suck at business.
- How Jesus sold stuff
- The real key to raising your rates is mindset
- When you’re good at something, sometimes you don’t notice it because it’s easy for you.
- Why you shouldn’t be accessible to everyone.
- To succeed, be different, be the black sheep in the room.
- Know your value, who you are, and who you’re meant to serve.
- Just about any result that you want to get that you thought you can only do on the [massage] table, you can do without touching. You can do it legally.
- I don’t think there’s such a thing as a sexual healer or a non-sexual healer. We have so much shame we must separate the two. In the future, they will be more integrated.
- If you’re free sexually, you can’t be controlled anymore.
There’s also a YouTube version, but the audio isn’t very good.
http://sarahwhitetherapy.com/ – Naked therapy
http://www.spankingforwellness.com/ – SOOO cool!
http://www.sexyworkoutbuddy.com/ – Self-explanatory 😉
http://ourgourmetlife.com/ – Sexy dinner parties
http://www.cuddleuptome.com – Cuddling for healing
http://drsusanblockinstitute.com/life-coaching/ – Sexy life coaching
http://www.sashacobra.com/hugging-meditation – Hugging meditation
If your business is helping people directly and involves deep relationships, then this article might be final piece of business advice you will ever need.
Actually, it applies to all businesses. And all relationships (suppliers, clients, employees) within all businesses.
Follow the Golden Rule.
If Sunday school was a ways back, the Golden Rule is basically this: “Treat everyone how you would like to be treated.”
This is what happened for me.
A couple months ago, business was not quite right. Externally, everything looked fine.
I was making money. I was helping people. But something was missing.
Then it hit me. The obvious.
I wasn’t having fun with the marketing and sales. And that’s a very important value of mine. Having fun.
I followed the teachings of the marketing and sales gurus. But something in the process felt fake. Forced. “Unnatural.” And not that fun–even when I was signing clients for “big money”.
I stopped everything to take a mini-sabbatical. And I thought about why I wasn’t enjoying marketing and sales. There had to be a better way. Something could be fixed
What if I just started treating everyone related to my business exactly how I wanted to be treated?
In essence: What if I just loved everyone?
That thought triggered tectonic shifts.
I let go of “sales models”. No more ‘building on common beliefs’ or ‘handling objections’ or remembering the “sales steps” in precise order.
I stopped all pressure and artificial scarcity. I abandoned knowing ‘how the sales conversation should go’. It felt vulnerable. I felt fear. But on another, deeper level, it felt right, as I embraced a more organic way of interacting.
Marketing and sales started being fun. Marketing transformed into “having fun to get people’s attention”. Sales became ‘meeting new people and helping them‘.
Now, there were no more ‘problem’ contacts. I took time to ask every person what they needed and really listened. 2
Rather than try to ‘sell anyone’ a package (by ramping up their discomfort or other ‘tactics’), I just worked to solve their most immediate pain. I listened deeply and provided my very best thinking and support. 3
Instead of ‘aiming’ for a specific outcome of our conversation, I paid exquisite attention and stopped worrying about what I wanted.
Love and compassion begin professional relationships. Money enables them to continue.
All the sudden, we were both on the same side. We were one, working together to solve their problems.
No longer were we antagonistic ‘negotiation partners’ on ‘opposite sides of the table’ that I used ‘clever tactics’ to ‘get to sign up’ for something a lot more expensive than they might have planned on.
Here’s what happened:
1. My ‘potential client’ calendar completely filled up. I had 2-3 conversations with “people who I could help” 4 planned every day for a week in advance. This had never happened before. No more staring at my empty calendar and wondering how I was going to fill up the space.
2. I really enjoyed my conversations. Every time someone left, they were so grateful and happy, they treated me like their long-lost brother. There was no ‘sales pressure yuck’ taste in either my mouth or theirs. I usually knew within 5 minutes whether someone was a fit. And, I still spent focused energy and time helping as deeply as I could. I used to dread the conversations where I knew that they wouldn’t be hiring me, but I still had to ‘kill time’ listening to them. I felt like I was “giving my brilliance away” and that “I wasn’t being valued” if I didn’t get paid immediately. No more!
3. “Conversions” went down. I went from 80% ‘client conversions’ to perhaps 10%. I wasn’t even mentioning continuing to work with me to most people. And most people didn’t ask. They said “thank you!”. I said ‘you’re welcome!’ and they danced away, smiling.
They benefited from our short time together. I enjoyed it. And that is how most connections are meant to be. This was a good thing. It means that I am working long-term just with my optimal clients. It hasn’t cost me money. Quite the contrary. (See the last point on this list.)
4. My service quality increased dramatically. When I am focused on service, my intuition is turbocharged. I am not distracted by trying to ‘remember the steps in the sales process’. Nor am I thinking about how I was going to ‘overcome their objections’ to working with me during the conversation.
I am serving people from a place of deep caring and concern (which is who I actually am). I am giving them what they need.
5. My ‘scarcity mentality’ around money and potential clients disappeared. Since my calendar is always full, I realize that there is an inexhaustible supply of potential clients. Nobody ‘has’ to fit and ‘be the right one’. Everyone can be with me as they are, and we can follow the natural energy of the interaction. And it feels great to serve them
6. My “perfect clients” sign. 5 Now, there is a special energy when I ‘click’ with a potential client. They feel that energy as well. We both know we are ‘meant’ for this relationship. Then we simply have an open conversation about how to make it happen.
7. Recommendations and referrals have gone through the roof. One recent conversation triggered five other conversations. I am simply present and helpful, and people are writing about it on their Facebook walls, telling their friends, and sending them to me. It’s a snowball effect.
You know how it is: most people go to a service provider of any kind because of word-of-mouth referrals. If you get referrals, building a business is easy. If you don’t, marketing becomes very challenging.
8. My client service level increased dramatically. I thought, “What do I really want to give my clients? What’s the best level of service I can provide?”
I thought about what they really wanted and needed, and designed a program based on what my income needs are and how much time I would like to spend 1:1 with my favorite clients. It ‘looked’ much more expensive, but I knew the time I would spend and the value my optimal clients would receive. I don’t have to ‘convince’ or ‘sell’ those who are a fit and who are looking for that level of value. I am guided by what ‘I would want’ as my own client.
I understand my value and bring 100% of myself to my client relationships.
Here’s a few questions I have been asked about my ‘new way’ of doing business (that is 2000+ years old!).
Q: Ok, I understand caring, but you can’t just spend 1000 hours with someone and not get paid, can you? Don’t people use you?
A: What I learned is that money is what allows relationships to continue. It doesn’t serve anyone if I ‘serve’ myself into starvation! I find that after about two hours we usually know whether we want to spend more time together or not. If we do, we have a conversation about that.
And then, they either write a check, or, in some cases, I will spend time coaching them through how to make the money part of our relationship work. Practically, this means that ‘completely free time’ ends at around four hours. There is a natural decision point that happens organically.
If I haven’t helped them find an obvious breakthrough in their lives in four hours, then I probably wouldn’t do so in 40 or 400 hours. Even if I do make that breakthrough, it may just not be meant for us to work intensively together. And we both seem to know that.
The key is that you are doing what will best serve the world and make others happy with your time. Since I have a coaching business, that means spending time coaching, regardless of whether or not I’m paid.
Paying clients simply get my best for longer. Because this is the best, most effective way to serve others.
Q: What was the hardest part of applying this ‘new way’ to your business?
A: The hardest part was ‘unlearning’ and letting go of things that formerly had worked OK. I had no guarantee that this would be effective. Indeed, I spent 20 hours in ‘free’ consultations before anyone expressed interest in my new, intensive program. I had no guarantee that anyone would decide to go deeper. And it took some faith to keep giving of myself from that perspective in the belief that ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’.
I believe that, whatever you want: love, connection, support–you should be giving that. So, I decided to radically apply the Golden Rule for as long as it took, and indeed, it does work.
Q: Why don’t you just give away your time permanently, if it feels so good?
A: To take another Bible quote: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” I could do that, but I wouldn’t want my neighbor to run out money, not be able to pay rent or buy food. So why should I want that for me?
I know that there is abundance for those who are truly in service…there are plenty of people who can pay my clients for their true value. And allowing them to support me in living a powerful life is part of me loving them.
I did actually give my sessions away for free for about a year with no program to sell. My experience was that, sure, I did a lot of great sessions. But it did not serve my clients as well long-term, because they didn’t have someone who could serve them from a position of abundance. Nor could I commit to serve them over time–I needed to find a way to eat!
We simply didn’t have the energy (in this case money) exchange that allowed the ‘circle of value’ to continue.
Q: So, I can just do this in my business and it will work, right?
A: I believe the principle is effective. Your application may be different. It may not be possible or of service to clients to give away your initial sessions.
You need to consider what would be best for people you work with and for you in the long term, and make changes accordingly.
It took me a few months to make all these changes. I’m still making them! Try to apply this in one area, see what happens, and that will give you confidence to apply this principle somewhere else as well.
Q: Was there a way this didn’t work for you?
A: When I left myself and my own needs out of the equation, it didn’t work. I have to love and take care of myself just like my clients. In fact, until I loved myself effectively, I couldn’t really love my clients how I wanted!
I had to do a lot of work around self-love and self-acceptance before I could even see the path of ‘as I want to be treated’ to apply it first to me and then to my clients.
Q: What else should I think about before doing this?
A: You must truly understand your own value and structure your business and prices accordingly. I actually arrived at my prices via deep meditation and prayer. They are connected to ‘what I really want to offer’ and my deepest soul. Inevitably, when it feels like I am ‘raising prices’ (which is seldom true, because my service multiplies more quickly than my prices have ever gone up), fear arises.
I’ve doubled my prices as a coach three times in one year.
I have one ‘package’, which is a year-long intensive program.
1) Enables me to work with just a few select clients as deeply as I want with powerful, transformative relationships 6
2) Enables me to spend the time and energy I need to with these clients while also taking time to ‘give back to everyone’ with my other projects (like writing this article).
I have begun applying the Golden Rule to every aspect of my business.
I ask: “How would I like to be treated if I were on the other side?”
It’s a simple solution to almost every question.
This has transformed my coaching and every business process.
I would rather be listened to instead of “dazzled” with knowledge and facts, so I spend more time listening.
I want ‘high contact’ with my coach. So I offer that. I would like to be able to ask questions at any time, so I offer that.
I want to be able to go to a free event to get to know a potential service provider before speaking 1:1. So I offer that.
Since I wanted some idea of prices before having a conversation, I published mine.
Since I want e-mail and telephone reminders to help me make decisions to benefit my business, I provide those (not as a sales tactic, but from an attitude of service).
I love trying out potential service providers (accountants, lawyers, coaches) for free before I invest with them. I want to know they are competent and that we are a fit. So I offer that.
I create the content I want to read, watch, and listen to.
I want my coach to be honest rather than nice, so that’s what I provide.
I want to know about my coach’s weaknesses, failures, and shortcomings, so I share mine.
So many of these steps look like ‘best practices’ and tactics. But I am no longer thinking of them that way. My heart is my guide, and that has made all the difference, even for the things that have stayed the same.
This feels like an incredibly natural way to do business. A perfect mix of “Sacred Sharing/Gift Economics” and “energy exchange”. I feel like I’m giving to the world freely and I am taken care of as well. 7
My income is rising faster than ever. My client relationships are deeper than they have ever been. My clients are moving forward more quickly than ever. They feel more supported. And I feel joy in their support.
My ability to ‘support my entire community’ is dramatically improving as well.
This is business in alignment with my soul. This is how I’ve always imagined relationships to be–and now I’m getting them in a place where I long thought that true, deep, transformational relationships couldn’t happen.
I’m happier than ever before.
I can only recommend using the Golden Rule to guide your life and business. It may just change everything for you as well.
I’ll update this post as my experiences with “The System” 😉 continue.
- What a horrible, dry term! ↩
- Because I love it, of course, when people really listen to me with deep interest! ↩
- You know, like how I would like to be treated! ↩
- As opposed to potential clients. ↩
- 100% of whom are new friends I deeply love. ↩
- My clients hear from me just about every day. ↩
- Lots of people want to live in a gift economy, but aren’t really giving their gifts. If you can’t or aren’t giving your gifts, it doesn’t matter how noble your thoughts are: people aren’t benefitting from them. If energy isn’t flowing from you, it has trouble flowing to you as well. ↩